How To Deal With Difficult People Occasionally we encounter someone who seems to have one goal in life -to irritate and agitate others. For some, this bad behavior isintentional. They know how to "push people's emotional buttons," andtake great pleasure in doing so. For others, the behavior isunintentional. They are ignorant of their own personality problems orimmature in their relationship skills. Either way, we still have todeal with them! How can we effectively handle people like this? What should be ourresponse to folks who attack, nitpick, brood, pout, demean and dumptheir ugly emotions on others? Here are a few suggestions that might help:
* Disconnect yourself from other people's moods, meanness and badmanners. Don't let them draw you into their emotional misery andmadness.
* Refuse to react or retaliate when verbal barbs come your way.Emotionally step out of the way and let their poison darts pass by you.Remember, it takes two to fight. The best way to stop a fight is torefuse to fight. When they see that you are not interested in engaging in their "theater of war," they will most likely move on to someone elsewho will.
* Understand that hurt people hurt people. Generally, difficultpeople behave as they do because of the brokenness and pain inside ofthem. Understanding this will help you keep the right perspective andperhaps feel a bit more compassion and love for them.
* Choose your responses purposefully. If someone is being unkind,respond with kindness. If they are demonstrating impatience, respondwith patience. If they are acting out in anger, choose to respond inquietness, calmness and peace. Don't let another person's behavior orattitudes dictate yours.
* Know when to walk away. Sometimes the best thing we can do inthe presence of volatile people is to appropriately remove ourselvesfrom the situation. It might mean going to another room in the house ortaking a walk outside.
* Above all, walk in a spirit of love and forgiveness. Don't letanger or resentment build in you!
The Bible gives us some guidelines in dealing with difficult people: "A gentle answer quiets anger, but a harsh one stirs it up."
-Proverbs 15:1 (TEV) "But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to thosewho hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreatyou."
- Luke 6:27, 28 And by the way, if you are a difficult person, here are some suggestionsfor you: admit it to yourself and to God and seek His forgiveness, apologize to the people your attitudes and actions have impacted, andask God to help you to be the person He wants you to be!
Pastor Dale
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