How I Caused a Riot in Children’s Church
(A skit in four scenes)
By Bud Greenberg
CAST
SCENE 1
Father (mid-30’s)
Mother (mid-30’s)
SCENE 2
Father
Mother
Milton (age 6)
David (age 3)
Dumb Puppet
SCENE 3
Father
Mother
Milton
David
SCENE 4
Sunday school teacher
Sunday school class
Sunday school class puppets
Milton
David
Author’s note
This skit is based on a true story. I wrote it as a rather light-hearted reminder that children follow the example of their parents - whether that example is good or bad.SCENE 1
Scene 1 takes place in a living room at home at a week day evening. Father and mother are tired after a long day with work and the children. It is bed time for the two boys.
Actors
FATHER
MOTHER
MOTHER
Honey, I am exhausted. Would you mind putting the boys to bed this evening?
FATHER
I’m tired too! Why don’t you do it?
MOTHER
Please?
FATHER
All right. Okay. Prefer one another. I know the lesson! Where are they now?
MOTHER
There are in their room. They have already gotten dressed and brushed their teeth. All you have to do is read them a book.
FATHER
They keep asking for me to read the same book to them night after night. How about if I do something different with them this evening?
MOTHER
You do whatever you want.
FATHER
I’m on my way.
SCENE 2
Scene 2 takes place in the boys’ bed room. Father has just entered the room. The boys are playing by themselves with toys strewn about on the floor. In the middle of the floor are two chairs, a bed sheet and a hand puppet.
Actors
FATHER
MOTHER
MILTON
DAVID
DUMB PUPPET
FATHER
It’s bedtime boys. Would you like me to read book to you or would you like a puppet show this evening?
BOYS
Puppet show! We want a puppet show!
FATHER
Then let’s put together the puppet theatre. (Dad and boys put the chairs together and drape the bed sheet over the chairs. The boys sit together Indian style on one side of the chairs. Dad finds the sock puppet and crouches behind the other side of chairs.)
DUMB PUPPET
Good evening children. I am the puppet. Would you like me to tell you a story this evening?
DAVID
Yes please!
DUMB PUPPET
Once upon a time, in a kingdom far, far away, were two princes. Their names were Prince Milton and Prince David. All day long they went wah, wah, wah, and blah, blah, blah. They drove their parents crazy. Then the King came home and gave the princes a spanking and put them to bed. The end.
MILTON
That’s it?
DUMB PUPPET
That’s it! The end! Now go to bed!
MILTON
Well that’s a dumb story and you’re a dumb puppet.
DUMB PUPPET
That’s my name don’t wear it out! Hey little boy, you have a boo-boo on your finger. Can I see it? (David holds his finger up to the puppet’s eyes. The puppet grabs David’s finger with its mouth and pulls. David screams!)
MILTON
You leave my brother alone!
DUMB PUPPET
(Upon releasing David’s finger from its clutches) You can’t get me! I’m too fast for you!
MILTON
Yes we can! (David and Milton reach for the puppet. At first the puppet escapes, then the boys grab the puppet from Father’s hand and yank off the puppet. Then they proceed to pummel the puppet and rip out its tongue. They keep the tongue and throw the puppet back over the sheet to father. Father places the puppet back on his hand and addresses the boys over the sheet)
DUMB PUPPET
Xymphylekffft!
MILTON
What did you say puppet?
DUMB PUPPET
I said I am going to get you! (Father leaps from behind the bed sheets and grabs the boys. They wrestle on the ground. David and Milton yell and scream. After a few seconds of wrestling Mother appears at the bedroom doorway.)
MOTHER
What, in the world, are you doing?
FATHER
Just putting the boys to bed as you said.
MOTHER
Out! (Father leaves, head and shoulders slumped.)
SCENE 3
Scene 3 takes place in the boys’ bed room. It is the next evening. Mother and Father are downstairs. It is bed time. The boys are upstairs in their bedroom ready for bed.
Actors
FATHER
MOTHER
MILTON
DAVID
MOTHER
Honey, where are you going?
FATHER
I am going upstairs to put the boys to bed.
MOTHER
And have a repeat of last night? Oh, no you don’t. I will put the boys to bed. (Mother climbs the stairs. The camera stays on the father as Mother climbs the stairs and enters the boys’ room. Father smiles as the boys start yelling loudly off camera at Mother.)
MILTON and DAVID in unison
We want dumb puppet! We want dumb puppet! We want dumb puppet! (Mother descends the stairs and glares at Father.)
MOTHER
There are asking for you!
SCENE 4
Scene 4 takes place at Church of the Redeemer. David and Milton are in class, together, as part of Children’s church. They are mixed in with several other children who are all sitting in front of the teacher who is standing next to a puppet theatre.
Actors
Sunday school teacher
Sunday school class
Sunday school class puppets
Milton
David
TEACHER
Class, I have something very special for you today. We have very special guests. We have with us this evening, some puppets that are going to tell you a special story. (The camera focuses on two puppets that suddenly appear on the puppet theater stage.)
PUPPETS
Hello boys and girls!
MILTON and DAVID in unison
Puppets! (Milton and David rush the puppet stage and grab the puppets and proceed to beat on them. The other children are astonished at first, but then join in on the fun of beating on the puppets as the teacher watches in horror. A mini-riot breaks out)
TEACHER
Class! Class!! (The story ends with two numbers being flashed brightly from the church’s wall number sign in the sanctuary.)
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